After the Storm: Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship - A BIPOC Perspective

Have you ever left a relationship feeling drained, hurt, and belittled while questioning your self-worth? You have found yourself in a relationship with a narcissist or an individual who possesses narcissistic traits. For People of Colour, such relationships carry with them cultural expectations and can complicate our identity formations.

Definition: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - A lack of empathy, grandiosity, selfishness, a need for overwhelming admiration, and an overall inflated sense of self characterize narcissism.

Relationships with narcissistic individuals often involve gaslighting, exploitation, guilt-tripping, lying, emotional abuse and other awful experiences. In our communities, marriage is a cultural experience and expectation, so much so that narcissistic abuse in these relationships is often minimized, misunderstood and/or ignored. Because we come from collectivist societies, we frequently find it challenging to break free from these relationships and patterns.

Here are 5 strategies to help you re-centre your sense of self!

1) Connect with your community - narcissists often desire for you to be isolated and away from your support system. Now is the time for you to reclaim those relationships and rebuild those friendships

2) Establish Boundaries - Saying no or ending toxic relationships can be difficult, especially for a caring person such as yourself, but you can start slowly, protecting your energy while you heal.

3) Seek culturally sensitive counselling - Racism is undoubtedly a form of narcissistic abuse, and quite often therapists of colour might share your lived experience, so it might help to seek mental health support from someone who aligns with your social location

4) Connect to spiritual and cultural practices - Many followers of Jesus believe that narcissism comes from the spirit of Jezebel, an evil queen in the Bible who embodied narcissistic traits. Alongside psychological factors, there very well could be spiritual reasons for this behaviour. All in all, this might be a friendly reminder to tap into prayer, reading the Bible, and cooking cultural dishes to reclaim your spirituality and identity

5) Be good to YOU! - Narcissists want you to believe that you are nothing without them - but this is a bald-faced lie - start implementing self-care practices that honour your identity, take yourself out on a date to remind yourself about how amazing you are and the fact that you can be alone because YOU have YOU!

If you are seeking a new beginning and you need therapy, guidance, and life coaching, speak to me today about starting a New Chapter in your life!

Kevin